Happiness

Happiness Rocking it Outside your Comfort Zone

How Your Lack of Self Love is Keeping You Stuck Inside Your Comfort Zone

June 28, 2017

Self love, it’s a concept that to so many seems so foreign. It can even feel selfish to some. We are taught from a young age that love comes from the external. That we need family and friends to shower us in love, kisses and gratitude to truly feel happy. It feels like we missed the chapter on truly loving ourselves.

Self-love is the secret to manifesting so much that you desire.

The lack of self-love can keep us locked into our comfort zone because all we want is to please others. When in reality we please others to make ourselves happy. But it never feels completely full when you are only striving to make others happy. There’s something missing and you can’t quite put your finger on it. Self-love is what is missing.

You have to come first. And it is so beautiful that you want to serve so many people and bring a smile to their face. But when it comes at expense of your happiness, you really aren’t serving. You cannot pour from an empty glass. And when you are lacking self-love, you become to exhausted to venture out of your comfort zone. You become too obsessed with others happiness and forget about your own.
You cannot control someone else’s feelings. No matter how hard you try.

If someone loves you, they want you to be your best. And they will understand that you need to have a little me time before you come over to cheer them up. They will understand that you need to have a quick yoga class before you help them pack up their house for a move. When someone loves you they want to see you happy too.

And if they get upset that you are not at their call 24/7, you simply cannot control that.

You are holding yourself back by giving love to everyone but yourself. You are comfortable giving away every bit of yourself that you have. The unknown, the giving more to you than to someone else feels scary.

What will happen if suddenly your glass is full? You will not only get more of what you really want, but YOU will feel the happiness and will be able to serve everyone you love in a much BIGGER way!

So if you’ve been lacking in the self-love category and are ready to get more of what you want and give out even more happiness, try out these 5 tips!

1. Journal about yourself

It feels a little weird to talk about yourself right? It feels a bit strange to say what you are good at and what you are proud of within yourself. That’s because we have been conditioned to make sure we celebrate everyone around us. It is outside of our comfort zone to talk about ourselves. Start breaking that boundary in a safe space for you. Journal about it. You don’t have to tell anyone yet, but take some time to love on yourself. The more we get comfortable with giving ourselves love, the more we will want that in our life.

Grab yourself a nice cup of hot tea and sit with what makes your world. Start with these questions:

– What am I really great at?
– What makes me unique?
– What do others love about me?
– What do I love about myself?

2. Start the day for YOU

The morning is such a beautiful time and space for YOU. People don’t necessarily need you first thing in the morning so this is an amazing time to spend on yourself. Take some time to carefully craft a beautiful morning routine that is designed just for you!

It may be just inside your comfort zone to start the morning for your kids or making breakfast for your husband, or hopping on social media and seeing if anyone needs anything. Break that boundary by focusing on you first, then you’ll know what it is like to have a full cup.

What would make your day start out beautifully? Maybe it’s…

– Waking up an hour early to make some coffee and meditate to clear your mind
– Writing out 5 things you are grateful for today
– Waking up to catch the calming sunrise
– Having an exercise session before anyone can snag your attention

Whatever it is, make sure it is for you.

3. Reevaluate your self-care routine

What do you do just for you? Maybe you used to love doing yoga or Pilates. Maybe you loved getting a massage once a month but you just can’t find the time for it. Maybe you got just too comfortable giving that time to someone else.

It’s time to reevaluate when your self-care is. I get it, we’re all busy. But a 30 minute yoga class twice a week can happen. You have nothing but time and time for you has got to start coming first.

4. Do more of what makes you happy

What really brings you joy? Make a list of things that make you really happy and sprinkle those into your week! If it brings you a smile, why wouldn’t you want more of it? Do you love spending some time in nature, start doing Sunday morning walks. Do you love planting flowers, start a garden in your backyard.

The problem isn’t that you don’t have any time for it. The problem is that you are uncomfortable making the time because you could miss out on something. When you are full of joy everyone around you will be happier and you will be able to bring them joy in ways you couldn’t before.

5. Treat yourself & don’t forget to celebrate you

You’ve added all of these wonderful self-care routines and are starting to fill yourself with love. So now you have to remember to celebrate. And guess what, this doesn’t even have to be alone. Tell your girlfriend that you successfully went to three yoga classes this week and you’re really freaking proud of it, so you want to go celebrate with your favorite frozen yogurt. Tell your boyfriend when you hit a milestone in your work life and that you all should have a special date night to celebrate!

Once you have filled yourself with so much self-love it will be so easy to leap outside of your comfort zone and try everything new that you have always wanted. You will allow yourself to have the space for it, because you know how good it feels to do just for you!

Happiness

People Pleasing – It is Not Serving You

May 8, 2017

People pleasing might be keeping you inside your comfort zone. Over and over I hear people wanting to get out of their comfort zone but what’s stopping them is fear of letting someone else down in some way. Do you find yourself saying things like…
“I would feel bad if…”
“What is he/she gets upset with me if I….”
“I feel like I would be letting (insert important person’s name here) down, if….”

And the list goes on and on. You’re sacrificing valuable time that you will never get back to make someone else happy before yourself.

And that is the key here, you are putting others before yourself. How would you ever expect to leave what’s comfortable if you can’t even put yourself first? Somewhere along the road you were taught that others go first. That if you serve others with everything you have, then you will be happy.

And maybe you weren’t taught this on purpose. Maybe you had really generous parents and you thought to be happy you had to be just as generous or more than them. Maybe when you were little you always got rewarded for doing something good for someone else and so you attribute other’s happiness with your own. This pattern can come from all sorts of different places.

But it is now holding you in comfort. Your own self-care comes last, after other’s plans. You don’t make any big moves, because you might let someone down.

People pleasing is a self-satisfying practice.

It’s amazing that you have such a big heart and that you want to help serve everyone that you can, but when it comes at the expense of yourself and your own needs, you are no longer serving.

How is people pleasing self-serving? You are doing something for someone else to make yourself feel better. You are doing something for someone else to avoid the guilt of not doing it.

You cannot affect how someone else feels. No matter how many nice, amazing things you do for them. You do not control their feelings.

You are only in charge of you. If you are constantly trying to please everyone else, you will fall short. You will not try new things, because someone else might need you.

Guilt will replace happiness. Don’t let guilt consume you, don’t suffer through that. You are SO important. And if a person cares about you, they will want you to be at your best too. It’s time to start learning to put you first. All we have is time and it is time to live for YOU.
Continue to serve people, but don’t do it at the expense of yourself.

Happiness

Are you the Cause of your Bad Day? How to Fix it Now!

April 5, 2017

Have you ever had just one of those days? Ya know, just a bad day.

Where your dog eats your favorite shoes, then you drop your phone and the screen cracks, then there’s a traffic jam so you were late to work, then people are mad at you because you’re late to work, then you spill coffee on your new top, then you stub your toe and so on and so forth.

You’re not having a string of bad luck; the universe does not hate you. You don’t have bad weeks because the world has something against you.
Let’s look at that day I just talked about… the dog didn’t know any better and then you were probably all flustered scolding him that you dropped your phone, and then you left for work late and encountered a traffic jam causing you to be late, and then people are mad because you’re late and let’s face it… we can’t control how other people feel. Then you try to down some coffee because you think it might perk you up a bit and in the speed chugging of coffee, you spill… do you see where I am going here?

The universe does not owe you anything just for being here.

Yes, the universe has your back and you can manifest everything you ever want; but you have to put in the action to get it.

You can’t just make a vision board and then sit in front of it and expect to start traveling the world tomorrow. You have to do the work to get to the life you want.

So why are you having a bad day?

Have you ever thought that you might be making a bad day? What are your thoughts telling you that day? Is it really a bad day or just a bad five minutes that you’re milking all day?

We create our own problems, and honestly a lot of us like to be the victim, even if we don’t want to admit it. We play the victim for many different payouts; we want sympathy, we want protection from past outcomes happening again, we want pity, we want attention, we want what we don’t have. So we get to create a problem for ourselves and dwell on it for all of these reasons.

Our mind isn’t wired to create problems, problems come from when our mind sits with something from the past for too long. Our mind knows what to do when there is serious danger, we go into fight or flight mode and that is why in so many near death experiences you hear about people who can suddenly lift a car off of someone or hold their breath for 15 minutes. They’re not superheroes, they are just trying to survive.

How we can fix it

So next time you are having a bad day, week, or month listen to your thoughts, are you really just barely surviving? Or is this something that you have the power to transform, the answer is yes. Here are three practical tips for changing your bad day around:

1. Have a rest! 

Maybe you just need a 30 minute power nap to reboot. Or maybe you just need to start over, climb back in bed, have a deep breath and try again. If you’re at work, try and find a quiet spot to have a few deep breaths and recharge. Calm your mind down to calm your mindset. But really use this time of rest for some peace, don’t fill your mind with everything that’s gone wrong, just be present. 

2. Ground yourself with gratitude

There’s nothing quite like thinking of everything that we have and are grateful for. What could make you happier than gratitude?! And simply putting gratitude into your day can quickly transform it to a positive one. Slow down and think of just 3 things that you are grateful for right in that moment. 

3. Call on someone you love 

Call someone you love next time you’re having a bad day. And just talk. Not about your day, not about how nothing is going right. Talk, catch up, tell them about something exciting that is coming up. Vibing with someone you love will absolutely make you feel more positive all around. And who knows… maybe they needed your call just as much that day. 

So, I’ll simply close with this… 

Happiness

Transforming Fear Thoughts Into Love Thoughts

March 29, 2017

Love and fear, the two emotions that guide all of our decisions. We’ve heard this concept ever since we were children; the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other, the voice in our head, our ego. No matter how we were taught about this concept, it is our decision making journey, it is love and fear telling us the way. More often than not we give in to our ego, we give in to that voice telling us to give up, we are letting our fear thoughts lead the way in our life.

Love tells you that you’ve got this.
Fear tells you to give in.

Love tells you to plant yourself in the present.
Fear tells you that the past is stuck to you forever.

Love tells you – you are enough.
Fear tells you – you are not worthy.

Love tells you how strong you are.
Fear tells you the mistakes you could make.

Love asks no questions.
Fear questions, what if?

Love has no doubts.
Fear is worry.

Love lifts you up.
Fear tells you to stay low, others might see.

Love guides.
Fear blocks.

It’s easy to give in to the fear. It’s easy to not even think about the other side, the love. It’s easy to say I’ll think about it tomorrow or I don’t think this is for me.

Stop to look at what your thoughts are telling you, instead of just going, going, going and notice if they are coming from a place of love or fear.

Start living for love. Here are three tips for stopping fear thoughts and transforming to thinking in a state of love:

1. When you see a decision coming up and you think you have the answer, stop to think, is this what love would do or fear?

2. If you become all tangled up in your own mind and your own problems, bring yourself back to the present moment and focus on solutions instead of problems.

3. If any anxiety comes up around getting outside of your comfort zone, stop to take some (real) deep breaths.

Happiness

Happiness Inside Out

March 15, 2017

When I make $10,000, I’ll be happy.
When I travel to all of my bucket list items, I’ll be happy.
When I graduate, I’ll be happy.
When I find the love of my life, I will be happy.

Do these statements sound familiar?

Ever since I was little I had this feeling that happiness was all a mindset. Now don’t get me wrong… I wasn’t a little 10 year old saying “let’s all adjust our mindset.” I just remember being able to look at situations differently. I remember being the target of some bullying and knowing that it wasn’t the end of the world. Not that it wasn’t affecting me, but that I knew I could still be happy from this.

And maybe this was just the stellar way that my parents raised me or maybe I just always knew we could be more if we wanted.

Somewhere along the line, I lost that feeling a bit and I fell into the trap of comparing my happiness to things other people had. Thinking, well if I had that much success I would be happy too or if I was that pretty I could be happy all the time also.
I can’t blame myself, as a young adult in America it is so easy to be subjected to this material happiness. And it wasn’t until recently I remembered that I could be happy every day and it would start with myself.

And with that included not gauging my happiness by my successes or wins. Not creating false happiness only when I knew something good was going to happen. But creating happiness within me every day.

You have every single tool you need to be happy every day. And when you are basing your happiness on a milestone, in reality you will never find that happiness because there will always be more.
Happiness is a choice, not a result.

Happiness Rocking it Outside your Comfort Zone

I Am A Misfit

March 8, 2017

For years I thought I didn’t fit in, but I still went with the flow.
I had all these unanswered questions about life, ever since I can remember.

I remember being 8 years old and sitting in class, wondering, isn’t there more? I don’t really want to learn about multiplication I want to learn about life and where earth came from.

But I kept quiet and did what I was supposed to.

I remember at one-point band was so cool… until it wasn’t. And I better not let anyone know that my creativity was important to me or else I may be alone in this weird world.

I remember in my first taste of spirituality at 15 years old, I was shunned for asking too many questions.

I never felt like I fit in, so I made myself fit in. When all my friends would go out partying and I would think… okay but I just kind of want to sit inside? I would think something was wrong with me and I better not say that out loud. Gosh, if anyone knew I was such a weirdo, I may not have any friends!

I sat in college course rooms wondering, is this it?! Am I going to study these mediocre classes + some random electives that my university saw fit… get a job and then die?! But this is what I am “supposed to do.”

This is no one’s fault but my own. I gave into the societal norms and was placed into social groups from the time I was 8 and thought, okay better just go with all of this.

I was always in my own head, but I wouldn’t dare tell anyone this because what if that was wrong?

I was a misfit. Until I changed my mind.

I can’t place my finger on it; but there was a time, a moment if you will, that I decided I would fit in no more. There is more to this life and bring it at me. And if I want to sit on my couch and read or write rather than go out to a party, that is so okay. I am me, the only one and I only get to do me once. So let’s do it. Let’s do what we feel is right rather than what we are told is right.

Happiness

Why We Mask Our Pain

March 1, 2017

Hello, my name is Megan and for years I would mask my pain.
For years I would hold a ragingly bright smile on my face to show the world how happy I was, when in reality I was drowning. I felt like there was no point to my life, like a dark cloud was hanging over my head and it took all that I had and all that I was to just climb out of bed in the morning.

But, I was always everyone’s ray of sunshine. The life of the party. The one that was there to make you laugh. But you see I was hiding so much that no one knew. And I know that there are others out there doing this too.

I’m here to tell you… it is okay and it’s time to come back to life.
We mask our pain for all different reasons.

Because society told us we need to be happy.
Because the thoughts we have aren’t “normal”
Because we think everyone else’s happiness comes first
Because we believe that if we actually allow ourselves to feel this pain, we won’t be strong enough to let go.

Because life isn’t supposed to be this way.
Because you are alone in this.
Because no one will want to listen.
You’re doing it and you don’t even realize it. You are hiding something that you don’t even realize you need to hide. Why? Because you haven’t allowed yourself to feel. You haven’t allowed yourself to just stop and look in on what is going on.
You are not alone. The truth is, life is hard right now. You’re juggling a life of who you are supposed to be and why you aren’t living how you want. You’re doing a balancing act of keeping everyone happy while just getting by with life. But you totally forgot about you.
Allow yourself to feel it, so that you can overcome it. Allow yourself to talk about it, even if it’s hard. Stop masking and tell someone; “HELLO, I am not okay.”
You are who you choose to be. And today you can choose to create a change. You are not alone.

Happiness

Dealing With Pain: You Are Not Alone

February 22, 2017

Hi there lovely!

Today as I was doing my normal Facebook scrolling I saw something quite beautiful and eye opening. A lovely small business owner opened her heart and offered to host a pop up shop for a family in need. She asked for her community to share stories of someone in their friends or family who were suffering right now, or going through a rough patch and she in turn will choose one to support and donate the earnings from the pop up shop to.

Okay, pause… how absolutely beautiful is that?! The compassion in this business owner just stopped me in my morning coffee… which is pretty hard to do. I think we really need to take the time to acknowledge someone doing something so wonderful for the community.

I am not normally one to share the personal details of my life but I felt totally compelled in that moment to share the struggle that my family is going through right now. And I thought, I cannot think of anyone more deserving than my brother for this cause. And then I watched all the other stories roll in and it made me realize something.

Everyone has pain. Everyone has suffering. Everyone has something going on that you may never ever know. People mask these emotions in different ways. For my family and me, we aren’t much on displaying our problems to the world…. Until this kid started a blog, sorry mom! Heehee. For some, they want to stop you in the grocery store and lay it all on you. And for others there is immense anger or deep depression in this pain.

Spread compassion. Next time you get impatient with a Starbucks worker who is moving a bit slow, realize that there may be something weighing on her mind. Next time a driver accidentally drives under the speed limit in front of you, realize that they might have just received horrible news and needed a moment. Next time you ask a friend how they are and they reply fine with pain behind their eyes, ask for more.

Smile at everyone you see, make someone’s day, send surprise flowers, and know that you are not alone in your pain.

Why are we suffering from the pain? Because we are not focused on the now. The right now. We are most likely future tripping in our pain and thinking about scenarios that aren’t even around yet. Or we are dwelling in what happened in the past in this same situation. When right now, in this very present moment, we have a choice to suffer or not.

Or maybe you are taking on the pain from someone else, you are feeling what they are feeling. Do you think that taking on their pain will help them? Or do you think living in your now and giving them all that you have on the positivity spectrum will help?

I know sometimes it’s hard… hella hard. I so get it. But we are the most courageous when we can pick ourselves up from the pain and be strong. So keep on truckin’ girlfriend, the universe is not done with you yet.

Happiness Rocking it Outside your Comfort Zone

How to Stop Doubting Yourself!

February 16, 2017

You know when you’re working on something new, something beautiful and that little voice in your head pops in to say, “you’re not good enough for this.” Or maybe they’re a little trickier… maybe your voice says something in the form of distraction that’s “more important than whatever you are working on” to avoid those feelings.

That is our old friend self-doubt. Self-doubt is one of those friends who came to the party but wasn’t invited. She hangs around whenever something new and great is coming up for us to honestly just be a mean b****.

Whatever you do… don’t confuse self-doubt with actual uncertainty in what you are doing. In reality this is just our ego warning us of what could possibly go wrong in the situation. It’s just fear wearing another one of her masks.

Don’t avoid it. Avoiding your self-doubt is ultimately just pushing off your task more. It’s time to face it, totally head on!

But how…
Realize the present moment


When self-doubt kicks in so does some solid future tripping. You’re doubting yourself because of what is to come. But what if you realized that hasn’t even happened yet? Slow down. Live now and deal later. Don’t spend your time making up outcomes when the action hasn’t occurred yet. Instead of asking what if, ask why not?

Surround yourself with positivity


For me it’s quotes, mantras and some solid 30 second dance breaks. For you it may be music, reading or a cup of tea with a friend. Whatever you get your positive on with… when you feel the self-doubt coming on, bring it out.

Connect


Who are you spending time with? When self-doubt comes up do you have a tribe to go to? If you do… good, then utilize that and connect when you need to. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you don’t, how can you connect to a helpful network? Maybe find a new local meditation class or a new meet up group? Maybe start your own! Your options are endless!

Take a break


When’s the last time you had one….. I’m waiting…..

Step away. Breath. Come back to the situation in new eyes.

You deserve all of this and more. You go Glenn Coco… movie reference anyone?

I know if you are doubting yourself, it will pass if you let it. Sending lots of love your way!

Happiness

Revamp Your Morning Routine

February 6, 2017

Wake up and smell the coffee!

How you begin your morning is going to determine the rest of your day. You need to check your thoughts, feelings and your heart before your start your day. You want your morning to begin with light, love and positivity to carry on your day.

Think of it this way; if you begin your day checking your website stats and you don’t see what you want on that amazing article you posted the day before then you have automatically started your day off on a negative note.
This was me… guilty.

I would wake up and check my sales, and have zero. Or check my email for a response I’ve been waiting for, and it’s not there.  Why would we do this to ourselves?!
Stop with the toxic habits! Start your day with positivity and watch the rest of your day unfold with happiness.

Here are 10 refreshed ways to start your mornings:

1. Feel
Instead of hopping right out of bed and getting straight to work. Wake up and be grateful for another beautiful day, feel how wonderful your sheets feel wrapped around you and take in a few big deep breaths with a smile on the side.

2. Guided Meditation
I used to look at meditation as something I could not do, I used to think I was not right for it. Until I stopped looking at it like something you had to be good at and something I needed to practice. Look for a guided routine that suits you and your mind, and know that thoughts are a part of meditation.

3. Did you remember to breath? 
This is another technique that I snubbed my nose to at first. I thought I can’t be good at this. I take a few seconds in the shower and count my breaths up to 10 and back down. This grounds me in the present and gets me ready for the day.

4. Journal
I LOVE writing it out. If you are a writer I really recommend taking just 1 minute out of your morning to write what is on your mind. And I encourage you to write, even if you think you are not a writer because well, practice makes perfect.

5. Be Still
Grab your coffee or smoothie, or whatever your cup of tea is… See what I did there?? Ha ha… And just be, for just a moment, before you get on with your busy day.

6. Listen
Grab your favorite podcast or a TED talk to start the day with some motivation. Or grab your favorite jams and start out your day with a 30 second dance party.

7. Sweat it out
When in doubt, sweat it out. Go on a run or a walk or workout, whatever your jam is. Start your day with the endorphins pumping!

8. Stretch it out
Streeeeeeeeeeetch. That’s what my mom used to tell me to do right when I woke up. Get those joints moving, don’t mope around. Or find a yoga class that you love!

9. Eat!
Do you know how many people skip breakfast?! This is like my favorite meal of the day and you have to eat to get your day started! Grab some yogurt, eggs, cereal, smoothie, pancakes… Eat something!

10. Be grateful
When’s the last time you thought about what you were thankful for? When’s the last time you truly thought about everything you love in your life? Try making that your first thought for the day! That’s a gorgeous way to start the day!

How do you start your mornings?

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