Self love, it’s a concept that to so many seems so foreign. It can even feel selfish to some. We are taught from a young age that love comes from the external. That we need family and friends to shower us in love, kisses and gratitude to truly feel happy. It feels like we missed the chapter on truly loving ourselves.
Self-love is the secret to manifesting so much that you desire.
The lack of self-love can keep us locked into our comfort zone because all we want is to please others. When in reality we please others to make ourselves happy. But it never feels completely full when you are only striving to make others happy. There’s something missing and you can’t quite put your finger on it. Self-love is what is missing.
You have to come first. And it is so beautiful that you want to serve so many people and bring a smile to their face. But when it comes at expense of your happiness, you really aren’t serving. You cannot pour from an empty glass. And when you are lacking self-love, you become to exhausted to venture out of your comfort zone. You become too obsessed with others happiness and forget about your own.
You cannot control someone else’s feelings. No matter how hard you try.
If someone loves you, they want you to be your best. And they will understand that you need to have a little me time before you come over to cheer them up. They will understand that you need to have a quick yoga class before you help them pack up their house for a move. When someone loves you they want to see you happy too.
And if they get upset that you are not at their call 24/7, you simply cannot control that.
You are holding yourself back by giving love to everyone but yourself. You are comfortable giving away every bit of yourself that you have. The unknown, the giving more to you than to someone else feels scary.
What will happen if suddenly your glass is full? You will not only get more of what you really want, but YOU will feel the happiness and will be able to serve everyone you love in a much BIGGER way!
So if you’ve been lacking in the self-love category and are ready to get more of what you want and give out even more happiness, try out these 5 tips!
1. Journal about yourself
It feels a little weird to talk about yourself right? It feels a bit strange to say what you are good at and what you are proud of within yourself. That’s because we have been conditioned to make sure we celebrate everyone around us. It is outside of our comfort zone to talk about ourselves. Start breaking that boundary in a safe space for you. Journal about it. You don’t have to tell anyone yet, but take some time to love on yourself. The more we get comfortable with giving ourselves love, the more we will want that in our life.
Grab yourself a nice cup of hot tea and sit with what makes your world. Start with these questions:
– What am I really great at?
– What makes me unique?
– What do others love about me?
– What do I love about myself?
2. Start the day for YOU
The morning is such a beautiful time and space for YOU. People don’t necessarily need you first thing in the morning so this is an amazing time to spend on yourself. Take some time to carefully craft a beautiful morning routine that is designed just for you!
It may be just inside your comfort zone to start the morning for your kids or making breakfast for your husband, or hopping on social media and seeing if anyone needs anything. Break that boundary by focusing on you first, then you’ll know what it is like to have a full cup.
What would make your day start out beautifully? Maybe it’s…
– Waking up an hour early to make some coffee and meditate to clear your mind
– Writing out 5 things you are grateful for today
– Waking up to catch the calming sunrise
– Having an exercise session before anyone can snag your attention
Whatever it is, make sure it is for you.
3. Reevaluate your self-care routine
What do you do just for you? Maybe you used to love doing yoga or Pilates. Maybe you loved getting a massage once a month but you just can’t find the time for it. Maybe you got just too comfortable giving that time to someone else.
It’s time to reevaluate when your self-care is. I get it, we’re all busy. But a 30 minute yoga class twice a week can happen. You have nothing but time and time for you has got to start coming first.
4. Do more of what makes you happy
What really brings you joy? Make a list of things that make you really happy and sprinkle those into your week! If it brings you a smile, why wouldn’t you want more of it? Do you love spending some time in nature, start doing Sunday morning walks. Do you love planting flowers, start a garden in your backyard.
The problem isn’t that you don’t have any time for it. The problem is that you are uncomfortable making the time because you could miss out on something. When you are full of joy everyone around you will be happier and you will be able to bring them joy in ways you couldn’t before.
5. Treat yourself & don’t forget to celebrate you
You’ve added all of these wonderful self-care routines and are starting to fill yourself with love. So now you have to remember to celebrate. And guess what, this doesn’t even have to be alone. Tell your girlfriend that you successfully went to three yoga classes this week and you’re really freaking proud of it, so you want to go celebrate with your favorite frozen yogurt. Tell your boyfriend when you hit a milestone in your work life and that you all should have a special date night to celebrate!
Once you have filled yourself with so much self-love it will be so easy to leap outside of your comfort zone and try everything new that you have always wanted. You will allow yourself to have the space for it because you know how good it feels to do just for you!
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I’m Megan, a life coach for women who challenges you to get OUT of your own head and into a life you are obsessed with!
Ready to be obsessed with your life?
I help women create balance in life before burn out so they can have it all.